The primary school fete at Kemsing is always held at the end of June. As fetes go, it’s pretty typical of the genre, but worthy of continued support if only to reward the local kids for all their hard work during the year. Fifty-something years on and I can still recall the nerve needed to take even a supporting role in the school’s annual play….

However, amid the strawberries and cream, the bric-a-brac stalls and the silver band, the second-hand books and the jigsaws one feature stood head and shoulders above the rest. Adjoining the line of Classic Cars - and standing adjacent to an old, rickety paste table containing an assortment of potted annuals that appeared to have been liberated from a neighbouring garden - stood a nasty yellow Rover Streetwise. Wearing the lop-sided stance - and the foreboding appearance - of an abandoned MOT failure, the Rover had a pair of part-used off-road tyres sourced from eBay leaning against the faded grey plastic bumper and a map of Western Europe stuck firmly across the windscreen. A thin blue line wormed and wriggled its way eastwards across the map from Goodwood, near Arundel in Sussex, to Ulaanbaatar, the capital of Mongolia, taking a route that passed south of both the Black Sea and the Caspian Sea by way of Turkey and Iran. I bought the plants - all of them, a mixture of half-starved Cosmos and some ornamental grasses. I also questioned the three lads who were manning the stall about their proposed project and it soon became apparent that any sort of mechanical preparation of the Rover had been kept to the bare minimum, the after-market sump-guard playing second fiddle to the installation of an upgraded sound system. Hooked, these professional anglers played me like a fish. The car was also a recent eBay purchase and apparently something of a real bargain, having just 40K on the clock and wearing a Buy-It-Now price tag of £700.00. No doubt the vehicle had also benefited from one careful owner before being acquired from somewhere north of Watford by Team-Immaculate Pasta. Why Immaculate Pasta? That’s one question that, regrettably, I forgot to ask! At the end of the afternoon I left the fete with my charity account £150:00 the poorer, but richer beyond belief. I’d bought advertising space on the Rover’s bonnet for my other pet-project, a monthly blog detailing The Ramblings of a Madman, the proceeds of which also go to charitable causes. More important were the words that had been left ringing in my ears. ‘You can do it. There’s still four weeks before the off’. A pipe dream for the young, perhaps: to get six weeks off work in the middle of the summer to undertake a ten-thousand mile Road Trip through nineteen countries was out of the question. Besides, I hadn’t even got a suitable vehicle or any sponsorship. And, to cap things, my Passport had expired. However, a seed had been sown that either needed nurturing or eradicating with a strong mix of chemical weed-killer. The weed-killer approach didn’t work: you’re never too old and the theory held that over half a century of automotive life-experiences should give me a head start over the youngsters who had more idea of ICE than what goes on under the bonnet. Matters significantly worsened once the rally started. True to their word, a constant barrage of e-mails began to hit the screen detailing their long, arduous journey east - France, then Belgium. A quick circuit of the Nuremberg track in German. Photographic proof of achieving 109 mph on an Autobahn, notwithstanding the speedometer was indicating a whisker over 120. Turkey, Iran. Then a whole heap of countries ending in …stan; and eventually Russia and the Mongolian border. Stories of speeding fines and punctures; corrupt police and bolshie border officials. It was an itch that needed urgent scratching, and www.theadventurists.com was accessed for more information regarding the 2012 event, and the criteria seemed fair. Anything vehicular could be used, providing it was less than ten years old and had an engine capacity of less than 1200cc - unless of course, you chose to undertake the arduous journey in a Public Service Vehicle, a redundant ambulance or perhaps a fire engine. The entry fee was a shade over £700, and a minimum of £1000 was needed for a nominated Charity. A plan had started to formulate that involved, of all things, an eight-year old vehicle from the nearest car auction....

Don't Forget.....

Posted by Maxwell at 1st December 2011 at 20:04

... to check out our sister-site www.team-phoenix.co.uk for up-to-date information!

The Christmas Spirit..

Posted by Maxwell at 11th December 2011 at 21:27

A big thank you to BROOKSIDE GARDEN CENTER for allowing us to use their car-park for a fund-raising event. We managed to raise £98:70 - just £1.30 short of the magical One-Hundred!

Sorted....

Posted by Maxwell at 13th December 2011 at 20:56

A recipe for disaster? We've bought a book. 'How To Build A Low-Cost Rally Car'. We'll see.

Exhaust fixed...

Posted by Maxwell at 19th December 2011 at 20:12

Trouble is, SB05KPE doesn't sound like a full-on Rally car anymore!

Great talk....

Posted by Maxwell at 28th December 2011 at 23:23

Given by the 2011 team, Immaculate-Pasta, in a backroom of their local pub. Informative, well presented and best of all - loads of free food! Thanks Guys!

One hundred days into the countdown

Posted by Maxwell at 30th December 2011 at 20:20

....... and we’re still being asked why we want to take a 1345cc Hyundai Accent all the way to Ulaanbaatar. Unfortunately, there’s no simple answer. ‘Why Not?’ is probably the best retort, but it’s not enough. Boiled down to the grist, along with Old Man Time the opportunity to see a large slice of hitherto undiscovered world is also slipping away. The chance to drive to Mongolia by way of Cappadocia is going to be a lot more of an unforgettable experience than popping into the local travel agent and booking a package-holiday in Hotel Rippoff, where one is cosseted for ten days by disinterested reps wearing blue coats. Once the die is cast there’s a lot to learn in double-quick time: the route - once committed to memory by with sufficient flexibility to absorb knockbacks - must include a visit to the ship’s graveyard at Zhalanash, in Kazakhstan. However, it seems that the wrecks are inaccessible by normal two-wheel drive vehicles so a photo shoot of the Hyundai slewed alongside one or more of the abandoned wrecks seems to be out of the question. On the other hand, if the site is actually accessibly by 4x4s then all is not lost: we have, after all, a nice new tow-rope that cost us the princely sum of £1:00. With potential trouble looming in Iran, the decision has now been taken to cross from Turkey into Russia by way of the Black Sea. This will negate the need to enter either Iran, and will also close the doors on Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan - a shame, because two other must-see’s that will fall by the wayside are the Gates Of Hell at Darvaza and the Russian Space Centre at Baikonur. Another valid reason for undertaking such an adventurous jaunt is much more difficult to define: there comes a time when suddenly prospect of doing something way out exceeds the desire to plod on day-by-day waiting for retirement and the eventual, inevitable slide into a ‘nice’ residential home somewhere. Mix in a number of blogs from the 2011 contenders [www.returnoftheyak.com] and it’s a done deal! Unfortunately, their superb Skoda Fabia failed to make the finishing line, but shrewd planning ensured the Yak that had been carried - on the roof - all the way from Goodwood actually made it to the Finishers Party!